Why You Don’t Always Get What You Want?

Why You Don’t Always Get What You Want?

Let’s say you’ve set a goal for a new house. You’ve begun to chant about it. Do you find your thinking going like this?

I want a new house.

I doubt I can get it.

I want a new house but I don’t think I can afford it.

I want a new house in this lovely neighborhood.

My significant other says that isn’t realistic in view of my history.

And so it goes….

When you set the goal, you have started the process of attracting it to you. Your goal is the thought that is going to draw and shape that universal life-energy and bring it into your world. If you have thoughts that doubt you can get it, or say you can’t afford it, it’s as though you’ve held up your palm and told the universe to slow down.

President Ikeda says, “When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself towards your success". On the other hand if you think, “This is never going to work out,” then in that instant every cell in your being will be deflated and give up the fight. Then everything really will move in the direction of failure. Faith into action, P. 108-109.

Keep Giving Attention to What You Want

Maybe your goal feels like too big a stretch and you don’t believe you can get there. Don’t give up. Take the first step towards your goal. Look at houses on the internet. As you look at the beautiful homes, let yourself dwell on what you want. Flesh it out in detail. Give attention to what you want. That attention continues to strengthen the desire. Brush away any thoughts to the contrary and turn your attention back to what you want.

Develop the Details

As you dream about your perfect house, add in the special details that would make it your home. Allow yourself to become excited about it. Know there will be the perfect house for you when the time is right.

Don’t keep Looking at the Defects in Your Old House

You’ve been living with what you don’t want. That’s why you decided to set the new goal. Don’t continue to look at the defects in the old house over and over to explain why you want a new one. When you keep giving attention to them, you are creating more of the same. Focus your mind on what you want and brush away what you don’t want. This is not always easy and often requires practice.

What is Being Realistic?

My significant other says I’m not being realistic in view of my history. Being realistic to him/her means looking at conditions as they have been in the past. If you continue to look at what-has -been, that is what you will continue to create. What you give your attention to, grows. Don’t you want to create a new reality, something new? To do that, you must keep your attention on what you want to have happen, the something new.

The Material World is More Changeable than You Think

You often think that the way life looks on the surface it is the reality. When you do this you are forgetting that all of life at the quantum level is vibration and shaped by thought. It only looks immovable. But that’s not the reality. When you persist with your thought and stay focused on what you want the “immovable conditions of life” will give way to the new creation.

You Set the Goal: Let the Gohonzon Handle How to Get There

It’s your job to set the goal. It is the job of the Gohonzon to take care of how you are going to get there. When you decide how it is going to happen, you set road blocks in the way of the universe doing its job. When you open your mind to all the possibilities, you may well be completely surprised by what develops, sometimes things you would never have imagined.

An Experience

My husband and I bought a fixer upper and turned it into our dream home. Next to us was a house owned by an out-0f-state landlord who was letting the house deteriorate. The renters went from a nice family to multiple renters, one couple with substance abuse problems and a nurse in training.

We chanted that the house would be bought by someone who would fix it up and make a nice home of it. For several months, nothing happened. We could have looked at what was and decided that we couldn’t influence it. Instead, we persisted chanting with our vision in mind. I remember saying to my husband that only an explosion would change the situation there. We just couldn’t see how our goal could happen.

One day, there was an explosion. The nurse, collected the rent, and left town to consult with his aunt, a real estate attorney. The landlord arrived two days later in a high temper. It turned out the nurse had put the rent in escrow until the landlord fixed electrical problems, which were in danger of causing a fire. The landlord harassed everyone. When the nurse returned he slapped the landlord with a restraining order which forbade him to come around the house or talk to anyone involved. We had the landlord sitting on the wall in front of our house glaring at the nurse playing his guitar on the front step of his house at 1 A.M. Then we heard rumors of court action. In the space of three days, everyone left the house.

Nothing happened for six months, while we continued to chant, our vision in mind. Then one day, Scott drove in. He was a contractor, and had bought the house with the intention of fixing it up and selling it. He turned that house into a beautiful family home and then sold it to a man who has been an outstanding landlord, who rented it to a nice family. Anything is possible!!!

Summary:

1. Remember your thoughts are the builder. They form that life force/energy into what you envision.

2. Look at what you want, not what you don’t want.

3. Practice getting rid of negative thoughts by returning your attention to what you want.

4. Don’t worry about being realistic. That is only what-has-been and you don’t want to continue to create the same old thing.

5. What appears unchangeable is an illusion. Everything can be changed when we turn our thought energy to it and chant about it.

6. Be open that it can happen in ways you can’t imagine. Don’t tie down the creativity of the universe by structuring ‘how’ it is going to happen.

7. Set a goal and try the experiment.

An article by Margaret Blaine

What is love ? By Daisaku Ikeda

What is love ?

By Daisaku Ikeda

  

The agonies of love are many and varied. Each person has their own character and personality; they have different backgrounds and circumstances. So there is no set rule that applies equally to everyone . . . When a person dates is also a matter of personal choice. No one has any right to meddle in your private affairs.

  

However, I would like to stress at the outset how important it is not to lose sight of pursuing your own personal development.

Love should be a force that helps you expand your life and bring forth your innate potential with fresh and dynamic vitality. That is the ideal but, as the saying "Love is blind" illustrates, people often lose all objectivity when they fall in love.

If the relationship you're in is causing your parents to worry, or making you neglect your studies or engage in destructive behavior, then you and the person you're seeing are only being a negative influence and hindrance to each other. Neither of you will be happy if you both just end up hurting each other.

If you are neglecting the things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you're in, then you're on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.

Love is a complex matter that is a reflection of each person's attitude and philosophy toward life. That is why I believe people shouldn't get involved in relationships lightly.

The bottom line is that, without respect, no relationship will last for very long, nor will two people be able to bring out the best in each other.

Rather than becoming so love-struck that you create a world where only the two of you exist, it is much healthier to learn from those aspects of your partner that you respect and admire, and continue to make efforts to improve and develop yourself. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the author of The Little Prince, once wrote, "Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction." It follows then that relationships last longer when both partners share similar values and beliefs.

Furthermore, please don't succumb to the view that love is the be-all and end-all, deluding yourself that as long as you are in love, nothing else matters. Nor, I hope, will you buy into the misguided notion that sinking ever deeper into a painful and destructive relationship is somehow cool.

All too often when a relationship ends, the great passion it once inspired seems nothing more than an illusion. The things you learn through studying, on the other hand, are much more permanent. It is important, therefore, that you never extinguish the flame of your intellectual curiosity.

Far too many people nip their own brilliant promise in the bud because of their blind pursuit of love.

Much of daily life tends to be ordinary and unexciting. Making steady efforts day-to-day can be trying. It's not always going to be fun. But, when you fall in love, life seems filled with drama and excitement; you feel like the leading character in a novel.

But if you lose yourself in love just because you're bored, and consequently veer from the path you should be following, then love is nothing more than escapism. What you are doing is retreating into a dream world, believing that what is only an illusion is actually real.

Even if you try to use love as an escape, the fact is that the euphoria is unlikely to last for long. If anything, you may only find yourself with even more problems along with a great deal of pain and sadness. However much you may try, you can never run away from yourself. If you remain weak, suffering will only follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you don't change yourself from within. Happiness is not something that someone else, like a lover, for instance, can give to you. You have to achieve it for yourself. And the only way to do so is by developing your own character and capacity as a human being; by fully maximizing your potential. If you sacrifice your own growth and talent for love, you will absolutely not find happiness. True happiness is obtained through fully realizing your own potential.

  

I would also like to add that to embark on a relationship as an escape from something is extremely disrespectful to both your partner and yourself.

Each of you has a precious mission that only you can fulfill . To neglect one's mission and seek only personal pleasure is a sign of selfishness. It is impossible for an egotistic, self-centered individual to truly love another person.

On the other hand, if you genuinely love someone, then through your relationship with them, you can develop into a person whose love extends to all humanity. Such a relationship serves to strengthen, elevate and enrich the inner realm of your life. Ultimately, the relationships you form are a reflection of your own state of life. The same is true of friendship. Only to the extent that you polish yourself now can you hope to develop wonderful bonds of the heart in the future.

With some people, however, once they have gotten into a relationship, they have a hard time saying "no" to the other person for fear of losing them. In that respect, love is like riding in a car with no brakes. Sometimes, even if you want to get out, you can't; even if you regret having gotten in, the car won't stop. In many cases, people get involved in a relationship thinking they are free and independent, but at some point find they have become captive to the relationship.

Each one of you is infinitely precious. Therefore, I hope you will treat yourself with utmost respect. Please don't follow a path that will cause you suffering, but take the road that is best for your well-being.

The truth is, ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people. It is essential, therefore, that you work on polishing yourself first.

It is demeaning to be constantly seeking your partner's approval. Such a relationship is bereft of real caring, depth or even love. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are not treated the way your heart tells you you should be, I hope you will have the courage and dignity to decide that you are better off risking being scorned by your partner than enduring an unhappy relationship.

Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A shallow person will only have shallow relationships. If you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity. True love is not about doing whatever the other person wants you to do or pretending you are something you're not. If someone genuinely loves you, they will not force you to do anything against your will nor embroil you in some dangerous activity.

Please have the confidence and fortitude to think to yourself when you face rejection: "It's their loss if they can't appreciate how wonderful I am!" This is the kind of resilient spirit you must strive to cultivate.

Please don't let a broken heart discourage you. Tell yourself that you're not so weak or fragile as to let such a minor thing bring you down. You may think there is no one who could possibly compare to that person, but how will they compare to the next hundred, the next thousand, the next ten thousand people you will meet? You cannot declare with certainty that there will not be others who far surpass them. As you yourself grow, the way you look at people will change as well.

I'm sure quite a few among you have had your hearts broken or been badly hurt, and perhaps feel unable to go on, your self-esteem in tatters. But you must never believe that you are worthless. There is no substitute for you who are more precious than all the treasures in the universe gathered together.

It is important for you to become strong. For if you are strong, even your sadness will become a source of nourishment, and the things that make you suffer will purify your life.

Only when you experience the crushing, painful depths of suffering can you begin to understand the true meaning of life. Precisely because you have experienced great suffering, it is imperative that you go on living. The important thing is to keep moving forward. If you use your sadness as a source of growth, you will become a person of greater depth and breadth--an even more wonderful you.

Excerpted from Discussions on Youth Vol. 1(SGI-USA, 1998)

GUIDANCE ON CONTROLLING ANGER AND ARROGANCE

GUIDANCE ON CONTROLLING ANGER AND ARROGANCE

A man came to see me recently and told me that he needed help with his "financial karma." He went on to explain how deep and profound his "financial karma" was. He hadn't been able to fix it in his ten years of practice. My first question to him was, "What kind of work do you do?" He said he was out of work. I asked him why. He said he quit his job six months before. I asked him why. He said he got into a disagreement with his boss and felt that he had to quit.

I asked about the job he had before that. He said that he got fired because he got angry with his boss. He told me he quit the job before that one. This person, in his ten years of practice, had eight jobs and lost them. I asked him how he expected to have financial fortune if he didn't have a job. There is no magic in Buddhism; it is unreasonable to think that one can acquire financial fortune without having a job.

He then said that his real question to me was, "Why do I have the karma to have authoritarian bosses?"

Most of us think that the bad things that happen to us are our karma. We think that our karma exists outside of us, but this is not correct. We are not the only ones that bad things are happening to. Bad things happen to everyone. Then what is karma?

Karma is our inability to deal with the "stuff." We don't know how to handle the stuff when it hits us, and we end up doing the wrong thing. We end up creating more "stuff" for ourselves.

In any case, I pointed out to this person his tendency to get angry with his bosses. There was a clear pattern. It was very difficult for this person to realise that his problem was anger. Buddhism says that if you have anger, you have the poison of arrogance. I told this person that until he was able to control his arrogant mind and his anger, he wouldn't be able to keep a job. He was actually a very talented person at his job, but this lead to him thinking he could do as he wished at his workplace and treat others badly.

I told him that since he needed a way to stop losing jobs, he needed to deal with his karma. I told him to not let his anger defeat him and to sincerely pray for the wisdom to respond to situations in a way other than with anger. To date, he has been employed for three years and has just bought a house.

What is the greater benefit: another job (which he would probably lose), or wisdom to see the root cause of his problem and never have to repeat it? People would pay millions of dollars for wisdom about the true nature of their suffering.

Of course, as we change, our environment reflects this change, and we experience benefit. However, if we try to seek out only the benefit without going through the inner process, eventually nothing will happen. The Gohonzon has almost no power to transform your environment. The Gohonzon does have power to transform you. When you use the Gohonzon to transform you, then you transform your environment. There's a big difference. We should determine in front of the Gohonzon that we will solve our problem or that we will overcome our suffering.

When you pray to the Gohonzon with that prayer, you will be amazed to find out what you see about yourself and what you need to fix in your life. Buddhism is about the inner reformation, not about the external reformation. Of course, benefits in the outside environment do come, but really that's not the point at all. It's really about inner change.

Excerpt from a lecture given by SGI-USA Vice General Director Greg Martin at the Seattle Culture Centre on June 9, 1995

Shakes the Cosmos Through Powerful Daimoku

Shakes the Cosmos Through Powerful Daimoku

by Jeanny Chen.

Every time I open my altar to chant in front of Gohonzon, in my mind I make sure that I also open up my Buddhahood. My mind's eye sees that the door is being opened for me to enter into the world of Buddha. By consciously taking such an initiative, I put myself right in the position of being able to communicate freely with Gohonzon. My life fuses with Gohonzon and my life condition begins to correspond with Nichiren Daishonin's. 

President Ikeda likens the practice of gongyo each day to a "spiritual workout". He also says: "Gongyo and daimoku are a ceremony in which our lives commune with the universe. During gongyo, through our faith in the Gohonzon, we vigorously infuse the microcosm of our individual existence with the life force of the macrocosm, of the entire universe. If we do this regularly each morning and evening, our life force is strengthened."-- Faith into Action, p. 120

In addition to my opening ritual, I put his guidance into action during my chanting. My mind constantly works on expanding my life to permeate the entire universe and to encompass it as well. It feels abstract but vivid.

Now, with all the preparation, I am in the highest life condition armed with easy access to the world of Buddha. And I am ready to experience one more time, the exciting and rewarding fun part of my daily chanting.

"If you exert a hundred million eons of effort in a single moment of life, the three enlightened properties of the Buddha will appear within you at each moment. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo means just such diligent practice."

In Gosho Zenshu p. 790, Nichiren Daishonin gave this guidance. Accordingly, I begin with exerting the combined efforts that I could possibly put forth throughout a hundred million eons of my life into every daimoku when I chant. At the same time, I perceive that each Nam-myoho-renge-kyo I chant inherently contains the result of all such tremendous efforts. Along with my earnest chanting, I keep on receiving its immeasurable power and benefits to nourish and adorn my life. When my mind works out this way, I simply don't want to stop chanting.

In his writing "The Real Aspect of the Gohonzon" (WND p. 832), Nichiren Daishonin thus introduced Gohonzon: "Without exception, all these Buddhas, bodhisattvas, great sages, and, in general, all the various beings of the two worlds and the eight groups who appear in the 'Introduction' chapter of the Lotus Sutra dwell in this Gohonzon. Illuminated by the light of the five characters of the Mystic Law, they display the dignified attributes that they inherently possess."

Doesn't it mean that dwelling in Gohonzon are hundreds of millions of Buddhas throughout the three existences and the ten directions? While my life condition is being elevated to the world of Buddha I cannot but feel that I am their peer. It is reasonable, therefore, that through my sincere daimoku, I could summon forth all of their protection, wisdom and strength, while working toward my goals. Besides, hadn't they all vowed to protect and help the Bodhisattvas of the Earth like  myself?

Thinking of this, I can't stop my ultimate optimism and joy about the actualisation of my prayer. Thus the increasing intensity and profoundness of my daimoku just keep on accelerating.

President Ikeda says that the air around us is filled with radio waves of various frequencies. While these are invisible, a television set can collect them and turn them into visible images. Knowing this, I would send my prayer and my whole being, together with my daimoku to penetrate the three thousand worlds; throughout the three existences into all beings, sentient and insentient. I make my daimoku rain-shower the entire universe as well as the trillions of my body cells. Millions of  daimoku are being chanted by the SGI members at any given moment around the world. I want to make sure that the quality of mine ranks among the top 50 percent. I inject my single-minded resolve and all my positive energy, commanding daimoku to work diligently toward my goals, without a moment's rest.

There is no doubt that my daimoku could reach and travel everywhere. In this case, how can it miss the targets I set forth? I tried to chant with penetrating determination (ichinen), as sharp as a mighty sword, with the force like the roar of the lion, hoping to shake, move and touch the universe. Without having encountered a real devastating problem, it is never easy for me to chant with the sense of extreme urgency of a life-and-death situation. I realize that only through such a sense of extreme urgency can I experience the kind of profound daimoku that moves heaven and earth. But I would, not in eons, ever want to exchange my comfort and health for the experience although I really need to know what it is like and how to chant like that.

Four years ago, I learned from TV news that four college students were buried under an avalanche. Three were rescued after three hours, but one died. Keeping the tragedy in mind, during my chanting, I started to simulate the accident. I imagined myself being trapped deep inside the thick snow. I was not sure whether any one had noticed where I was when avalanche occurred. I had very limited air and could keep myself from being frozen to death for only a short time. What could I do to get out of it before it was too late? It was now or never.

In thinking of this, I finally could chant daimoku that melted the snow in seconds. I was thrilled by the discovery. From then on I knew, without having to personally face the circumstance, that I could always do simulations to experiment how to derive the ideal results form any situation. How convenient!

Teachings and guidance of eternal value are bountiful in our practice of faith. Being limited by my English language ability, I can't read through the vast volume of the publications, not even a tiny portion, regarding this Buddhism. To make up for this weak point, no matter how little I come across, I focus on personifying the black ink on white paper. Namely, I give it a life through studying, understanding, absorbing and applying to obtain results. Chanting is always the perfect tool and setting for me to accomplish such a wonder:

"A mind now clouded by the illusions of the innate darkness of life is like a tarnished mirror, but when polished, it is sure to become like a clear mirror, reflecting the essential nature of phenomena and the true aspect of reality. Arouse deep faith, and diligently polish your mirror day and night. How should you polish it? Only by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo."

-- Nichiren Daishonin on his writing "On Attaining Buddhahood in This Lifetime" (WND p. 4)

Based on this particular teaching, I look at my life as a tarnished mirror. My mind, heart and mouth continuously produce the ultimate detergent-daimoku. I would hold a soft cloth polishing the mirror untiringly along with each and every Nam-myoho-renge-kyo I chant out. Eventually, the mirror becomes so crystal clear that I can perceive from it the real aspect of all phenomena. My life also turns out to be sparkling clean as the result of changing poison into medicine. The workout of the process doesn't take long. But the reward is amazing.

According to the simultaneity of cause and effect, the moment I play the image and act it out in my mind, its effect already exists. Hence, the ever-increasing wisdom of always looking for the underlying truth to best solve any situation becomes an automatic pilot to steer my life. It works like a charm. Moreover, I am so relived and relaxed to enjoy the feeling of having an untainted and pure life, no guilt, sorrow, shame nor filth, no matter how terrible and ugly it had been before.

In terms of chanting daimoku, I am rather scrupulous. Since my plan is to invest a big chunk of my life exercising it, I had better make sure I am on the right track. In the beginning of my practice, chanting for fifteen minutes felt like forever. Later on, due to the need to fulfill my impossible goal, I began to chant four to five hours. Gradually, I averaged to two hours daily, one twelfth of a day.

One day it occurred to me that if I chanted two hours a day, it meant that within twelve months, I would have been chanting non-stop for 24 hours a day and seven days a week for the entire month. The scale of the task was very scary. It was simply too big to fathom. Luckily, I was able to figure out a way to justify this brave behaviour of mine-- to generate from it the value equivalent or much greater than the efforts. 

As a junior in this Buddhist practice, if I wish not to fall too much behind, I have to have a correct jumpstart to derive solid results without delay. Therefore, besides attending SGI discussion meetings, studying the SGI publications and seeking help from seniors in faith in the SGI organization, I heavily depend on my pure faith to lead my way. The documented teachings are one of my guideposts.

Accordingly, I chant with strong determination, patience, persistence and optimism. It was natural that chanting came first when I really wished to overcome a challenge. To this day, chanting is always my first priority no matter what. I have also learned from the Gosho what and how to chant. I chant with sincere apology, appreciation and joy. I also chant to praise the Lotus Sutra a lot. Literally, I plan to leave nothing unturned. My attitude to fathom different aspects of daimoku obviously contributes to my ever-springing benefits. Whenever I read the Gosho, those teachings just jump into my eyes to empower the way how I practice. Once I catch them, I infuse them in my life:

"As you crave food when hungry, seek water when thirsty... so should you put your faith in the Lotus Sutra." (WND p.965)

"Yet even a grave offense can be eradicated if one repents of it sincerely." (WND p. 662)

"Those who wish to repay their debt to the Buddha must first repay the debt they owe to the Law." (WND p. 44)

"Therefore, when you chant the daimoku of this sutra, you should be aware that it is a more joyful thing than for one who was born blind to gain sight and see one's father and mother." (WND p. 143)

"The more one praises the blessings of the Lotus Sutra, the more one's own blessings will increase. Bear in mind that the twenty-eight chapters of the Lotus Sutra contain only a few  passages elucidating the truth, but a great many words of praise." (WND p. 673)

This essay summarizes various "spiritual workouts" that I implement into my chanting throughout my thirteen years of practice. As a common mortal, my mind wonders a lot. I can't always concentrate totally while chanting. 

Neither can I exercise all of the workouts at one time. I have come to notice, however that, whenever I am deadly serious, chanting about my goal of fulfilling a certain mission, that I recognize and take on, the application of any single one of them works wonders.

HOW TO CHANT TO REALISE OUR PRAYERS

HOW TO CHANT TO REALISE OUR PRAYERS

🍁It is important that our prayers be specific and concrete. Being vague and unfocussed when you chant is like shooting an arrow without looking at the target. When you chant, it should be with a strong and passionate resolve to make your prayer a reality. To have an attitude “If I chant, everything will be all right” is just wishful thinking. Earnest prayer – prayer infused with one’s whole heart and being – cannot fail to be communicated to the Gohonzon. (DOY2, 138)

🍁Therefore, we mustn’t try to gauge the power of Daimoku with our own limited state of life, thinking, “This must be all there is”. The sutra says that the benefit of Daimoku is beyond even the Buddha to fathom. For us to suppose that we understand its full scope is arrogance. If we underestimate the infinite power of benefit of the Gohonzon owing to weak faith, then we can only tap a minute portion of the Gohonzon power.

(WOLS 6 / Page 138)

Daisaku Ikeda